the missionary position is christian on top

Here’s a letter from a couple who carry a burden for the Lord as missionaries in Honduras. The letter is dated May 06. Italics and bracketed comments are mine

The beginning of May brought one more surprise into our lives when the Honduran government decided to change the time an hour ahead like they had heard about the rest of the world doing. ‘cause they couldn’t have possibly thought it up on their own Pick-ups loaded with mumbly loudspeakers rode up and down the streets announcing [holy crap! talking trucks!] “Yaba comel a tomanish baba yaba menum anbana.” [and the beastly things don’t even speak english!] Or something like that.

You see, these systems are always so bad that NOBODY can understand what is being announced [probably because the trucks are speaking truckish rather than english, spanglish or hondurish]. Are they selling socks? Pants? Melons? Or maybe it is a community meeting? Now? Tomorrow? Is it an emergency? So everyone starts watching everyone else to see what they are running to do. But nobody is running to do anything, lazy bastards, you see what we’re up against? ahh, but we do it for the Lord. Speaking of whom, God needs you to send us some more money so nobody does anything. Including us.

The radios and TV praise God for these American inventions and Internet and thank you, too, algore buzzed if only we had decent reception here with the news of losing an hour. Was this really true? A hoax? Could this really be happening? Why? Certainly if it was true, the government would have done this with the rest of the world over a month ago…right? [wrong. remember the poor reception?] We decided to sit tight and wait for some official word from somewhere. will someone please tell us what to do? Many others decided the same thing. Of course that means that now everyone will ask for the time in “old time” and “new time.” sigh. if only someone would come fix things so these ignorant savages wouldn’t be forced to resort to self-reliance.

School buses going to private schools pass by an hour late…or early? Not sure. Public schools just closed down, since nobody know when they should go. Workers didn’t show up in many places. that’s why we’re here, because if we don’t show them the american way of business, they just won’t be good Christians We went to church and found no pastor…he hadn’t even heard!!! [someone call the elders, this ignoramous has to go!] Fruits and veggies were scarce in town because it was nearly impossible for the merchants to meet up with the delivery trucks for the markets. Stores were short of items. Banks ran out of money. Gas prices went up (but did that have anything to do with the time???) [probably not. haven’t you heard about the oil situation? oh, that’s right. poor reception down where you are.] Meetings were the only thing that went on as usual since people normally arrive an hour late here! [or do you usually arrive an hour early?]

One of the sewing ladies [note that the seamstresses are always referred to as ‘sewing ladies.’ i don’t get that—perhaps the writer doesn’t know the word “seamstress?”] said that the government tried this time change about 10 years ago, but it only lasted a week. So she was waiting them out before changing her family’s schedule. The worst cases were those who heard about losing an hour and set their clocks BACK. see what we mean? they really need us here. they’re just like little children. they are so cute! Send more money now.

So there is mass confusion in an already disorganized place! God must wonder at all the energy we put into being an organized group. [he might wonder. then again, he might just shake his head.] Couldn’t we put this same energy into knowing Him? [who are you asking?] We pray he has some plan for this place that we don’t see yet. [yah, he might, but the nature of your prayer indicates that you think he might need a little nudge] There is a time and a purpose for everything under heaven… [think i’ve read that somewhere] NEW or OLD time? [my guess is that God’s not as concerned with that as you are] What time is it? [time for these missionaries to come home] please, send more money now.

catfight

We have a houseful of three granddaughters and two extra cats tonight. The extras are natives of Cuba. They look like cats, and have been living with people since near birth (they are about five months old now) but have enough wildness in them to be completely upset by our dog, who's lived peaceably (make that "as peaceably as one can") with cats for years.

Our dog reacted to their hisses and full tails by chasing them, which made them screech and yowl, which upset our very nice house cat, who in turn tried to get into the fray, which lead one of the kittens to wet herself when she was picked up. The would-be rescuer dropped the kitten, which then ran into a corner and cowered while I pulled off the dog and someone shooed away our formerly docile house cat.

The wet-ee then picked up the petrified kitten, sending her into further spasms. She pooped a hard little turd, then hung by the scruff of her neck, body stiff as ice, eyes wide open and staring straight ahead, tongue protruding. The kitten didn't move a muscle the whole trip up the stairs and into a nice, quiet room with a door tightly closed to restore and preserve what little peace was left.

And then we had supper while three wild little girls whooped, hollared, giggled and thumped their way to bedtime.

So far, it's been a great visit!

accolades and the closet

recently i have been accorded honors from very different aspects of my life. it is as though, after a break of, what? 17 years? i have finally made it back to being the person i was those many years ago.

it makes me want to grab someone (an honor-bestower) and shake them and hollar, real, real loud,
HEY. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO I AM. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT HAS TAKEN ME TO REACH THIS POINT RIGHT NOW, TODAY. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOST AND HOW LONG IT HAS TAKEN ME TO GET IT BACK. YOU HAVE NO IDEA THAT IF I HAD BEEN ALLOWED TO CONTINUE UNINTERRUPTED, I WOULD BE AWESOME TODAY. I WOULD BE RECEIVING HONOR AND RECOGNITION IN SO MUCH GREATER MEASURE THAN THIS.

IF YOU KNEW, IF YOU ONLY KNEW, IF I ONLY DARED TELL YOU WHERE I WAS 17 YEARS AGO, AND WHAT IT HAS TAKEN TO GET BACK TO WHERE I AM AT THIS VERY MOMENT, YOU WOULD FALL AWAY IN SHOCK.

But i don't say anything, because i fear that they would fall away alright, in horror or disbelief or fear, or—worst—distrust.

On the other hand, what if my life hadn't been so horribly disrupted? I'd probably be insufferable today. I have done so much more than simply get well. I have changed and grown and matured in ways that have formed me into a much more balanced and healthy human being.

Still, I wish I dared letting anyone know: So much of what you see before you today is made of stuff you'll never know. Why is that so important? It's so important because if I could do it, probably so could you.

sometimes i get revved up to say something, then i lose my nerve. maybe someday i will be brave enough, and confident enough to either believe that telling my story won't negatively affect my tomorrow or that the story is more important than my dream of tomorrow.

Top Ten Reasons Why Men Should Not Be Ordained

thanks to lydia, who posted this on June 27 at emergingwomen.

those readers who have been schooled in the opposite arguments will recognize this 8-)

10. A man's place is in the army.

9. For men who have children, their duties might distract them from the responsibilities of being a parent.

8. Their physical build indicates that men are more suited to tasks such as chopping down trees and wrestling mountain lions. It would be "unnatural" for them to do other forms of work.

7. Man was created before woman. It is therefore obvious that man was a prototype. Thus, they represent an experiment, rather than the crowning achievement of creation.

6. Men are too emotional to be priests or pastors. This is easily demonstrated by their conduct at football games and watching basketball tournaments.

5. Some men are handsome; they will distract women worshipers.

4. To be ordained pastor is to nurture the congregation. But this is not a traditional male role. Rather, throughout history, women have been considered to be not only more skilled than men at nurturing, but also more frequently attracted to it. This makes them the obvious choice for ordination.

3. Men are overly prone to violence. No really manly man wants to settle disputes by any means other than by fighting about it. Thus, they would be poor role models, as well as being dangerously unstable in positions of leadership.

2. Men can still be involved in church activities, even without being ordained. They can sweep paths, repair the church roof, and maybe even lead the singing on Father's Day. By confining themselves to such traditional male roles, they can still be vitally important in the life of the Church.

1. In the New Testament account, the person who betrayed Jesus was a man. Thus, his lack of faith and ensuing punishment stands as a symbol of the subordinated position that all men should take.