Cat Vomit

Veterinarians have a strange sense of humor. Comes with the profession, just like a room full of accountants might laugh themselves silly over one liners such as

What do accountants use for birth control? Their personality.

and

A person decides to become an accountant once they realize that they don't have the charisma to become an undertaker.

As a pet caretaker, however, Flat Stanley wants real answers to real important questions. Important questions along the lines of "Why does euthanasia cost so much?" and "Are my pets gay?" and "How is it possible for one cat to vomit twice its weight in cat food?" "Several times a day?" "And not lose weight?"

And, how is it that when a cat bites and scratches its caretaker, it's called love, and when a dog does, it's called "an unprovoked attack?"

The most pressing question is, why is Flat Stanley paying $75 for the privilege of hearing a physician to domesticated animals laugh at her own jokes?

Two cows are in a field.
First Cow: "Do you worry about getting Mad Cow Disease?"
Second Cow: "Nah, I'm a penguin."

Why don't anteaters get sick? They're full of anty-bodies

Why don't blind people bungee jump? It scares the crap out of their dogs

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The egg is frowning and looking annoyed, while the chicken has a big smile on its face and is smoking a cigarette.
The egg says, "Well, I guess we answered that question."

How do you make a cat go "woof"? Dip it in gasoline and light a match (OK, Flat Stanley's just kidding. That's not a joke a neighborhood vet would tell. To the public, anyway.)

Flat Stanley didn't get her most pressing question answered, but the vet did offer the latest scientific explanation for her cat throws up after every meal: Because it's a cat.

That cost me $75. I paid it. Maybe the vet is laughing at her own jokes because it pays so well.

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