Flat Stanley comes by her name honestly, and she's ok with her physique-ness (or lack of). But golly-gosh-darn, fellas, can you at least pretend not to be distracted by the eye candy when they walk into the room?
Put yourself in FS's shoes: The company president asks for an update on a million dollar project you're working on. You take advantage of the moment to let somebody who cares know of your progress. At the same time, you use the moment to suggest an angle that will put you in a position to go after more funding and in walks Miss-I-Paid-For-These-And-By-Golly-I'm-Going-To-Show-Them-Off.
Don't get FS wrong. The girls appear to be well done, and Miss-I-Paid-For-These-And-By-Golly-I'm-Going-To-Show-Them-Off wears tops that do the job tastefully. FS isn't jealous, and she'd do the same thing if the rack was on her chest. Honest, this isn't a wild rant about another woman's trophies.
But it is a bit of rant. Look guys. Err, don't look. Just think for a second. On second thought, don't do that either.
It's like this: You're telling your best friend an awesome story about how you bowled three strikes last week and suddenly his eyes light up and his face breaks into a warm, warm smile. A really, really, warm, warm smile. It doesn't take a genius to recognize that it's not your bowling game that's got him wound up. Oh no, Miss-I-Paid-For-These-And-By-Golly-I'm-Going-To-Show-Them-Off has just walked into the room to announce that she can't find her stapler.
No matter that the end of your story is that he gets to split the take-home prize of $15,000,000. No matter that the entire team has been invited to travel to Italy on another company's dime for a week. Not important that if the contract isn't completed and signed within the next 15 minutes that all deals are off.
What's most important at this very moment is that the world stops while we find the stapler.
No, no, it's ok, really. FS means it when she says she doesn't have an issue with Miss-I-Paid-For-These-And-By-Golly-I'm-Going-To-Show-Them-Off and her gravy catchers. FS will even help look for the stapler. But please, couldja, just for a few more seconds, focus on t . . .
Guess not.
*
9 comments:
Gravy catchers? HAHAHAHAHAHA.
I wasn't gonna read this but then I saw the picture.
Kidding!
HEY! How did you get that pic of me?? Oh, heh heh, I guess I'm mistaken..:)
Great story, I laughed until chocolate came out of my nose!
Poor Flat Stanley. I have big breasts and I would love to be flat.
If I was a man I think I'd prefer small and perky girls like you. :)
JennyMac: my catchers miss a lot. glad you liked that one.
Wow: that's why I added the pic
DD: c'mon, don't be so modest.
Uber: Do you wish your hair was curly instead of straight (or the other way around)?
Flat STanley- Yes I have dead straight hair and wish it was curly. I used to spend a mint on perms in the 80's.
Dpo you have curly hair, too?
I love that....gravy chasers
Now THOSE boobs look real. Seriously, there is no way those could be fake tits.
Nope.
Never.
Not even in a million years.
I know. I know.
I feel ya, cuz.
Sheesh. What is it with our DNA and really small tits?
But I have grown to like mine. There's been so much less to worry about since gravity has hit.
where the rest of my body has begun to droop, the gravy catchers are still perfect. So there. And they are not hard as rocks, fake alien globules, either. So there.
They are FABULOUS. They are also going to waste. :(
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